Lead your own emotional state

William James (1842—1910) was one of America’s foremost psychologists and philosophers at Harvard Medical School, also known as the “Father of American Psychology.” He said, “I don’t sing because I’m happy, I’m happy because I sing.“

There is a misconception in thinking that we must first feel happy and then act accordingly, James insisted on the idea of trying the opposite, for example, acting as if we are happy until we really feel it. Just as much as feelings can condition our behaviors, the opposite is also true. By forcing a behavior, we get it to have an impact on how we feel.

The first thing is to understand to differentiate what is and what is not under our control.

When we put our attention on things outside of our control, our energy dilutes and exhausted, we get frustrated. We must learn to let go all what we cannot control. Much of the misery and human frustration is generated by situations that do not turn out as expected. It is not that the situation itself is good or bad, but simply different from our expectations.

Taking ownership of our emotions and responsibility over our actions is the best we can do to take control of our general mood, and consequently, our well-being and happiness. We must never forget that at every moment in life, no matter how complicated the situation might be, we have options, and it is our duty to use them wisely.